George B – Ruminating thoughts
I first noticed my ruminating thoughts in my early twenties – a time when I had a major fit of depression. They whirred in my head constantly, and they were mostly thoughts about myself, how I felt, what others thought about me and what I thought about other people.
The more I pondered on these thoughts, the more obsessed with them I became and lost focus on so many other things in life. As I became more involved in my thoughts, I began to become almost paralysed by them as they took over most of my focus in life. This led me to take anti-depressants and I had some relief for a short time. However, because I hadn’t learnt to deal with my incessant thinking and to let it pass over me, I soon became involved in my thoughts again which in turn led me back to another bout of depression. This time, however, I read an article, after I came out of hospital, about how to deal with incessant thoughts. It was called ‘Train your mind to fight depression’ and was written by Clive Sherlock and it was about Adaptation Practice.
Since I have started the practice, I no longer become involved or focus on my thoughts to the extent I did before. I have learnt to focus on the here and now and what I am doing at that moment instead of dwelling on what has been in the past or what will happen in the future. I let my thoughts wash over me and don’t become involved in them. I now realise all that thinking only leads to an unhappy outcome. As I have been able to let go of my thoughts, I have also learnt to let go of lots of other things in my life and come to accept the way things are. I know I am able at least to try to change how I react or behave when I feel worried or anxious and to let how I feel, the emotion, work itself out in me. As I no longer ruminate on my thoughts, I have learnt to appreciate so much in my life because I am no longer clouded by negativity; which almost certainly comes from dwelling and obsessing and constant ruminating.
GB – Glasgow